i wish i were drunk right now

juuuuuuuuuust kidding. i definitely don't wish i were drunk right now, but it got your attention, didn't it?

friday, saturday and sunday all contained the thought, "oh i really wish i were drunk right now." well, friday not so much, and, well, neither did sunday, but that statement doesn't have as much of an effect if i said it only came up 1/3 of the weekend and not 3/3 (that means 1, for you non mathletes) of the weekend. i can definitely say that this was the first real test of my will... but i can proudly say that my will to drink is not nearly as strong as my stubborn willpower to remain sober. "if you don't drink by december, you're fired." i love the support i get at work, it's really quite heartwarming. but i joke, work outings are definitely always a great time, drunk or not. ah, who am i kidding, i would have no idea if they're always a good time drunk or not because friday was my first ever sober night out with the crew. and hey, i had another first: i actually said (and meant), "please don't drive anywhere tonight, if any of you need a ride call me, i'll come get you" as i was leaving. but the best part? on saturday i didn't wake up wondering what ridiculously embarrassing and inappropriate things i said/did to, with and in front of my job's executives.

saturday was different, not at all a proudly sober moment. the amount of times i wished, thought, said, proclaimed, spoke, declared, contemplated (and all their synonyms), "i wish i were drinking tonight" were innumerable and definitely made up for not once thinking that on friday. i know i've said it before (and i'll say it again), drunk people are annoying - but wasted people are obnoxious. maybe i'm being too critical and judging too harshly because, yes, there were moments where their hilarious antics did make me laugh. but the amount of times i rolled my eyes due to the mixture of stone-cold sobriety i was experiencing and the very-irritating-drunks definitely outnumbered the amount of times those drunks entertained me. what i did enjoy about saturday night? that, when the irritations weren't a factor, i had a great time. "and she's completely sober!" was nice to hear after, when "3" came on, i (very excitedly) announced (more like squealed), "OMG I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS" and started dancing in my chair (and if you don't know that "3" is a britney spears song then i feel bad for you, even if you probably, simultaneously, feel bad for me for knowing, and loving, that song). i took it as an affirmation that, yes, even sober i can be fun. and the ironically funny moment of the night? when my very (very very very very very) drunk boyfriend said to me, "i'm so proud of you for not drinking."

today (sunday) wasn't a "drunk people are annoying" kind of day, it was a "good times with family" kind of day and almost everyone (of age, of course) enjoyed a glass of wine or can/bottle of beer. today was definitely the kind of drinking i hope to do when my year of stone-cold sobriety is over: casual drinking. many people have asked me why cold-turkey, why quit drinking, why not drinking in moderation? but, well, you see, my methods are my own and only i know why i am going from 60-0 in 2.5. i want to do this my way, i want to do this cold-turkey because i want to show (myself) that i do have the willpower to say no to that very appealing, very aromatic, very tempting glass of stella rosa. even if the way i was longingly staring at the glass i (very) reluctantly handed to my right was a little bit creepy.

and to all that had me drinking at three weeks: you lose.