[no transitional statement necessary] today's blog post is going to focus on one question and answer. thursday night i had dinner with my very best friend on the entire planet and my very oldest (age of the friendship, not age of the friend) friend in the whole entire world; as usual hanging out with bff and oldest-friend was a rip roaring good time and, as usual, the conversation veered towards my favorite topic: me, more specifically, my first impression..
the backstory-ish: my best friend, bless her soul, always feels the need to adhere to rules of social-dom FOR me. those who know me know that sometimes (most times) i can be a little bit (rudely) inappropriate, blunt and, well, unapologetic. UNAPOLOGETIC. so she, in her very funcational way, always feels the need to apologize and back-track for me in social situations. cut to excerpt #1 of thursday night, an exchange with our waiter.
me: i think you were our waiter last time, are you a comedian?ouch. now, i do have to clarify, i don't ever purposely say anything with the intention of hurting people's feelings. that's definitely an effect i cause, but it's never the intention. ok ok, it's sometimes the intention, but not usually, 8.5 times out of 10 i can honestly say i don't mean to be mean... i do, however, almost always forget to think before i speak. by now you probably think i'm a bitter, lonely person with a foot permanently lodged in my mouth, but alas, i'm definitely not lacking in the land of friends (i know, i totally sound like a braggart right now, but it's important to know that i do have plenty of friends and, yes, they do like me). why are you friends with her? is often asked of my friends. they don't know why, i don't know why. do you know why you're friends with your friends, other than, well, you like them?
w: yes, i am.
bff: are you any good?
w: i'm brilliant.
uh oh... here it comes, word vomit.
me: right... so brilliant you're waiting tables at el torito.
the first impression: my oldest-friend (who i've known since third grade, a mere 18 years) and i have been friends since elementary school; we went to the same jr. high, different high schools but saw each other at church, we ended up at the same university and continued to be friends even after graduation. it's safe to say she knows me pretty well and pretty long and it's safe to say that she knows core qualities, even the bad ones. (i'll take this opportunity to say i love her and she's my friend because she's fun, smart and receptive to me, and everybody else. i can honestly say this girl could be dropped in the middle of kentucky and fit in, not because she's a plain ole boring follower, but because this woman can adapt, recept and enjoy all walks of life). this oldest friend shared with me a perspective about, well, me, that i wasn't (too) aware of: i don't make a good first impression.
me: what was your first impression of me?i'm not mean, i'm misunderstood. most people figure that the way their thoughts formulate isn't the way they should be expressed. on some level i understand that but i don't bother to actually adhere to the rule. i think it's meaner to lead someone on, for example, by agreeing to go on a lunch-date knowing full well i don't ever intend on actually lunching with them, than to just say no in response to, "let's do lunch this weekend." i think it's ridiculous not to ask a question of someone because it might make them uncomfortable for a split-second or two and instead assume an answer to a never asked question.
w: honestly? you're mean.
in short, honesty is the best policy but, as i've been told, it's all in the delivery ["just spit it out"].
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